Oh, THAT Party
by Junipertree
Summary: Remember The Circle Gets Wild? Well, this is the night of the party... sick sick sick!!


Remember The Circle Gets Wild

Remember The Circle Gets Wild? Well, this is what happened that night…

PS: The song 'Dike Vedris and His Many Lovers' is really lame. Really. Lame. Plus, never have gotten as high as Tris is in this fic, I have no idea what happens. Let's just say it's a variety of pot that only grows in Emelan, 'kay?

Disclaimer: I do not own Tamora Pierce's characters, Bill Clinton, Monica Lewinsky, George Washington, Britney Spears, Christina Agulera, Leonardo DeCaprio, pole-dancing, the macerena, Fruit of the Loom, Hanes, Kate Winslet, Itchy and Scratchy,

~*~

****

Oh, THAT Party

"Hey, Daj!" Briar called down as he pelted down the stairs. "You're back!"

Daja dropped her bags and ran forward, giving Briar a big hug. She'd just been away for- how long? Months, at least.

"Tris is coming," she said.

"Oh, joy," he rolled his eyes. "My day is complete."

"Can it, thief-boy."

Soon the whole Circle was there, thumping backs and giving squashing hugs.

"Hey!" Sandry said, silencing everybody. "We're all here, right? And the teachers aren't." she looked sly. "Well, I just got some of that new vintage from Uncle Vedris…"

Briar gave her a look just as sneaky. "And tomatoes aren't the only things I've been growing."

Tris smiled. "Let's get everything set up- the party starts at sundown."

~*~

"Hey! Niko!" Niko turned around to see Lark heading for him. "We're throwing a party down at the Hub. Wanna come?"

Niko could see the mischievous glint in Lark's eye. "Sure, Lark. I'll be there at eight."

~*~

"Will you do the honors, Lady Sandry?" Briar said, doing a little bow. Sandry giggled and popped open the wine bottle as Tris passed around a joint.

Within twenty minutes, none of them could walk in a straight line.

"Heysha Sandry," Briar mumbled, pulling the girl closer to him. "Howsha bout we have some fun?" 

She giggled coyly, and plopped herself down on his lap. "Oh, Briairshy," she said, leaning forward. "Yoush dun wanna baad gal like me." 

"We'll see 'bout that…" he said, pressing her lips against his in a wet kiss, sticking his tongue in her mouth.

"Gesh a room!" yelled Tris from across the table. She turned to Daja. "Hey Daj," she said, swaying. "I daresh you ta go up top the roof an' sing that Duke Vedris song. Butt-naked."

Daja snorted. "You're onsh, girl." She stripped down to the skin and, clutching the railing, made her way up the stairs to the roof. When she got there, she balanced precariously on the ridge, and started singing.

"Oh! They say Duke Vedris is a respectable man

A respectable man who hovers

But did y'all hear, oh did y'all hear

The song of his many lovers?

Lover number one was sweet as can be

Lady Hemaris of Timaddle

Well I bet you all know that Veddie likes to ride-

But with her, he made love in the saddle!"

Soon a small crowd had gathered 'round, cheering as Daja started a little dance.

~*~

Tris's eyes were wavering, she was seeing very WEIRD things… Was that Bill Clinton she saw, making out with Monica Lewinsky? No- that couldn't be…

Still clutching her joint, she wobbled outside. There were people standing all around her, doing the macerena. And there was George Washington!

"Macerena macerena macerena macerena- hey, macerena!" he wiggled his hips, clapped, and jumped to the side. 

And there was Britney Spears pole-dancing with Christina Agulera! Tris had always suspected them of doing that…

"My Gods!" she said, her eyes widening. "It's Leonardo DeCaprio! A- nude Leonardo DeCaprio…" she mumbled, eyes glazing over. She stumbled over to him, arms outstretched. "Come on, Leo, you know you want me…"

~*~

Sandry and Briar had managed to get each others' shirt's off, but were so drunk it took them a while to manage the pants. Sandry got Briar's pants down an inch and then stopped, fuming. 

"Wash is it?" Briar mumbled. 

"Yoush wear Fruit of the Loom, dammshit! Ish only screw guysh who wear Hanes."

Briar grinned. "I won't be wearing shem in five minutes." He pulled them down to reveal one inch. Two inches. Three inches. Four inches. Five inches. Six inches. Seven inches. Eight inches. Nine inches. Ten inches. Eleven inches. Twelve inches. Thirteen inches. Fourteen inches. Fifteen inches-

"Briar, dammshit, take off the putty!"

~*~

Tris wrapped her arms around Leonardo DeCaprio as he ran his tongue up and town her body. "Oh, Leo… she moaned. "Tell me you love me more than Kate Winslet…"

"Actually," he said. "I dumped her two days ago. I decided it was to exhausting to have more than five girlfriends at a time."

"Quintuple-dipping! What stamina…"

~*~

Pasco walked by to see Tris licking a tree with her skirts down and a small branch stuck in her… ahem. He blinked, rubbed his eyes. Still there. He shrugged, and walked on down to the party at the Hub.

~*~

Frostpine picked up Niko by the scruff of the neck. "What did you just say?" 

"I said you couldn't handle a half-pint of cheap watered-down beer." Niko said, growling at the bigger man.

Frostpine threw the man down to the floor. "Oh yeah? We'll see about that!" he roared. "Bring me some brandy. Strong brandy." Someone went to fetch glasses and liquor as the two men sat down on a small card-table. 

Frostpine, still glaring at Niko, downed the first glass with out a wink, and Niko followed up. 

Fifteen minutes later, a small mountain of glasses was on either side of the table and spilling out onto the floor. With shaking hands Niko brought a glass up to his mouth, missing and hitting his cheek several times before swallowing. Frostpine growled and groped for another glass, downing it as well.

Half an hour later the mountain of glasses had doubled in size. Frostpine woozed against the table, and bets flew everywhere. But then he straightened up and downed his thirty-second glass. Niko's eyes were bloodshot as he lifted the glass to his face and he stared down at the liquid, then collapsed into a dead faint.

Frostpine stood up and roared, gulping down Niko's unfinished glass. "I am the Champion!"

~*~

Rosethorn wove through the room, swaying, holding a joint in each hand. This was _much_ stronger stuff than what Tris had been using. "Peace, man." She said, knocking over an equally stoned Crane. Colors danced in front of her eyes, little cartoon characters played tag around her head… "Oh hi, Itchy, hi Sctatchy… Don't fight… It's all happy-happy land…" Crane's body rippled- it wouldn't stay still. 

"Stop moving, Crane… and take off your clothes… be natural… be free…" Rosethorn's pupils were swelled to triple-size.

Crane squinted his eyes. "I don't have any clothes on… dear Rosiethorn. Neither do you."

Rosethorn snorted. "Yes, you do… you're wearing a pink bikini… and you look awful… shave your legs, man…"

Crane looked down at himself. "Oh, I am. And look… Thornie, now you're wearing Hanes Her Way and a Wonderbra… You know I like Wonderbras…"

~*~

Lark tripped over someone on the floor and landed on top of Niko. "Oof," she said, as his bloodshot eyes blinked open. 

"Heysha, Larky…" he mumbled. "Yousha sure lookin' sexy in yer birthday suit…"

Lark squinted at him. "Heysh, it's Niksho! Whysha dun you try ya bithday suit too, s'comfortable…"

~*~

Crane and Rosethorn were rolling around on the floor, moaning in pleasure, when Frostpine tripped over them. 

"Whash the fuck?" he mumbled, trying to get up. He fell down again. 

Rosethorn disconnected herself from Crane and looked up. "Hey… Frostpine…" she said. "Get natural, Frostpine…" she reached up and ripped of Frostpine's shirt. "Get natural and join us…"

~*~

Briar arched above Sandry and thrust in as she cried out. "Deeper, hardersh, deeper, hardersh!" she pressed her abdomen against his. They were stretched out half-on and half-off the table, rolling around like madmen. Suddenly Sandry stopped. 

"Heysh, Briar, what if Niko comesh in right now?" she asked. 

Briar shrugged. "He cansh have thesh bottom. I'm sick o' bein' onsh thesh bottom."

Problem solved, they continued. 

Eventually they all made it to their beds. In Sandry's case, to Briar's. The tree/Leonardo DeCaprio had to be left outside.

"Dammshit," Daja muttered. "I'm sha only one in thish fic who don't get screwed." Her eyes wandered around the room and locked on Little Bear. "Ah… that cansh be remedied…"

_______________________________________________________________________ 

My God that was sick! Who knew I had it in me? Flame me if ya want, I deserve it…


End file.
